Newsletter #45

 

Clearing Criticism!

Continuing off of Newsletter #44 I am going to simply go down the list of the seven deadly poisons to criticism, which ironically is the FIRST one that showed up in my transformation circle that I recently did in NH.  

Criticism is a two way street!  When we are not able to receive one's constructive criticism and we take it personally, that is really about us and our own personal trigger that is wanting to be healed/transformed.  However, when someone intentionally criticizes us in a harmful way, that not only hurts us, but also them.  So if we ever catch ourselves in anger or frustration which results in us criticizing others in an unhealthy way, we will want to shift that because it simply is SO much better for everyone if we choose to build each other up in an HONEST, supportive way.  That raises their frequency as well as ours and it creates not only healthy chemicals being released in our bodies which benefits our immune systems, but it also creates a GREAT energy between everyone involved. 

This is reminding me of several years ago when one NY Times critic inappropriately criticized NYC Ballet dancer, Jenifer Ringer during a Nutcracker review.  He wrote that it looked like she had eaten one too many sugar plums.  Clearly, this is only rude and offensive which serves no one, and it REALLY makes HIM look bad -- not her. This rude insult actually turned into a positive when SOOO many people wrote to the NY Times and expressed their truth (how much they LOVE Jenifer's dancing) and how appalled they were with his unprofessional review.   His rude criticism of her got her on the Oprah show, and it makes me SO happy when people stand up and do the right thing!  LOVE that! 

Sadly, one of the most common forms of criticism experienced is self-criticism.  This 99.9% of the time takes us back to our childhood when we heard that we weren't good enough, not smart enough, not cute enough and many other things.  We simply weren't able as a kid to have strong healthy boundaries, and to know that it wasn't true.  Sadly, when kids here these things they REALLY absorb it (even though false) and they continue to feed this crap to themselves even as adults and it's not benefitting anyone .  Anytime someone criticizes us in a hurtful -- it's all about them! So maintain your healthy boundaries and stay grounded in YOUR truth -- not the poor behavior of others.  Who cares what they think!  

So let's choose to shift to love and acceptance of ourselves and others, and know that we are all perfectly imperfect no matter what! 

Some great quotes from others!

1)  (Constructive) "Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary.  It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body.  It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things."  -- Winston Churchill

2)  "Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man's growth without destroying his roots."  -- Frank Clark

3)  "Do what you feel in your heart to be right.  For you'll be criticized anyway.  You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't."  -- Eleanor Roosevelt

4)  Learn to see the difference between constructive and destructive criticism.  Appreciate the constructive, ignore the destructive. -- John Douglas

5)  "Those who (constructively) criticize you directly for your faults are your friends, not those who appear nice even when you're wrong." -- Dezhung Rinponche

6)  "When you are not attached to praise or criticism, an interesting FREEDOM is yours." -- Kute Blackson