Newsletter #49

Resentment or Gratitude?


Once again I am returning to completing my newsletters on the 7 deadly poisons (complaining, criticism, condemnation, revenge, resentment, resistance and sarcasm).  

It's easy to feel resentment when things don't go our way or we see someone getting away with injustice (like in "Law and Order" and "Good Girls Revolt"), YET the empowering place to be in is gratitude.  We have all heard the higher truth where we get what is best for us although sometimes it's REALLY hard for us to grasp that at the moment.

When "crazy" things happen to me now that I could resent,  I am MUCH more able to look forward with an inner excitement which feels empowering because I KNOW things are going to get better for me somehow!  When you can shift that "OMG this sucks" feeling to "OMG I wonder where this is going to land" -- THAT is huge.  And when combined with gratitude you are impossible to stop.  Those frequencies are SO powerful to have in your cells.  I bet that it's safe to say that diseases can't exist in that environment.

To get personal with this, back in 2000 I was living in NYC in a studio apartment on the east side with a five floor walkup (not cello friendly) and my apt was ALWAYS full of smoke due to the chain smokers who lived in the building.  I was craving fresh clean air, but I felt there was nothing I could do about it so I resigned to the situation. 

However, the Universe was clearly not OK with me resigning and my apartment was broken into at 3AM one hot summer night when I left the sliding door open since I didn't have AC.  Luckily, people on the street saw the break in and called 911.  I TOTALLY resented the fact that my space was violated and that I no longer felt safe in my own home.

I would have to confess that back in 2000 I was not in the space of being grateful for this break in at the time but I TOTALLY was AFTER the blessing in disguise showed up!  The good news is that I did NOT go into victim mode which would have kept me stuck in a vibration of "it sucks to be me" if I can quote "Avenue Q" which NEVER benefits anyone.  I instead jumped into determination to find an apt on the upper west side near Central Park and long story short, I moved to W84th St near Central Park and then 8 years later another incident that I could have resented prompted me to move and sell my apt for close to triple what I paid for it RIGHT before the market crashed in 2008.  I moved to W86th St with only a couple of buildings between me and Central Park.  So let me tell you -- when they say to let go of resentment because you always get what's best for you, it IS true unless you get in your own way via victim mode or something else and block it. 

I love the Zen story which I don't have memorized perfectly where a man's son ends up with a broken leg.  When people said "I am sorry" to him, he responded with a neutral attitude and he refused to put a good or bad judgement on it.  Weeks later when the village members were recruited for war, his son was not accepted due to his broken leg.  I think you get the point!

If you ever catch yourself in a state of resentment which will happen because we ALL are human, try asking an open ended question which your left brain can't answer such as "How would my life shift if I knew that this is happening for my benefit?"  It will put you in a space where you will resonate with gratitude which will allow that blessing in disguise to make it's way to your lap with WAY more grace and ease.